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14 totally normal signs your period is coming

How many times have you felt like everything in your life/body was going spectacularly wrong, only to realise the next day that it was all down to your period? Cramps and mood swings are period symptoms we all know about, but there’s a whole list of little, strange and sometimes surprising symptoms that can signal your period is coming…

Here are 14 of the most universal signs your period is coming. All aboard the PMS Express! Destination: Tampon Town.

1. Life becomes an all-you-can-eat buffet

Sorry, are they going to finish that? Because you only had three breakfasts this morning and there’s a long 45 minutes still to go until lunch… Calorie requirements in our body actually increase before our period, so that gnawing bottomless-pit feeling in your stomach is totally normal. Although dipping crisps in Nutella is all on you.

2. Owwww

If the two or three days before your period were a series of really bad disaster movies, this one would be called Attack of the Cramps. But instead of Vin Diesel leaping through a window, on fire, it’s just two hours of you straddling a hot water bottle, rubbing your belly and whimpering.

signs your period is coming: pain - men falling out of a window

3. Your bettybox arrives

You need tampons but you don’t want to go to the shop. You want choc chip brownies but you don’t want to bake them, buy them or talk to anyone while you’re eating them. You want presents, but it’s not Christmas. Jeez. If only there was a magical box that delivered all this stuff to your house so you could be the hermit chocoholic you were destined to be *ahem*.

4. Everyone is the actual worst

Everyone. Your friends, your parents, your barista, the woman in front of you on the bus. The drawing of a man on your porridge box. Everyone.

5. Everything is the actual saddest

The song you listened to on the bus. Your biscuit breaking off in your tea. An uplifting advert for a bank. All perfectly legitimate reasons to be crying like a baby in the run up to rag week, we promise.

Period Symptoms: Crying woman saying 'It's not fair'

6. There’s a party in your pants

Discharge often increases in the days leading up to your period, and tends to get… creamier in consistency. Sorry to ruin that bagel.

7. You cba

Everything is suddenly effort. You’re so knackered it’s like you just climbed a mountain when all you did was walk to the fridge. You cba so much that you cba to even write ‘can’t be arsed’ out in full.

8. You’re suddenly incredibly aware of your boobs

Oh, hey guys. How’re you doing down there? Not so great, huh? Having a little tantrum in my bra, are we? Did somebody kick you when I wasn’t looking, or…? No sure, fine, just checking. Ok ok, there’s no need to be so SENSITIVE about it.

signs your period is coming - sensitive boobs

9. All your clothes look wrong

The dress you loved last week, the trousers that normally go with everything, your very best socks – suddenly wrong, ALL WRONG. Sure, flinging your entire wardrobe around the room while you stand in your pants going, ‘arrrrgggghh I hate them all, I am an undressable monster!’ isn’t the kind of symptom you can’t exactly take to your GP – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a very real side effect of Aunt Flo’s journey down your uterine highway.

10. Your chin is zit city

Just like the arrival of Starbucks red cups or the town centre lights being switched on, a giant flashing pimple (or twelve) on your face is often a surefire sign that holidays are coming. Except in this case the ‘holidays’ mean 3-7 days of vaginal bleeding. Hoorah!

11. Every paving stone is a safety hazard

You’re usually pretty good at walking around, carrying objects, lifting a sandwich to your mouth without dropping the contents all down your top… but not today, sweet cheeks! Clumsiness is a far more common period symptom than you might realise – which might be handy to explain to the person you just threw a latte over.

Period symptoms: Clumsiness - girl drops contents of her bag while running

12. Your brain is soft cheese

What’s Pythagoras’ theorem? Where did you leave your hockey kit? Which one is your house, again? All those simmering premenstrual hormones can create a kind of brain fog, which descends like one of those mists in an old horror movie and makes it harder to concentrate on even easy tasks. So give yourself a break – you’re not stupid, you’re just resting your faculties before battle commences in your pants. You warrior, you.

13. Your belly is a balloon

Less pleasant than a food baby but less terrifying than a baby-baby, having a swollen, gassy belly for a day or two is one of the most common signals that your crimson wave is about to crash. If ever there was an excuse not to eat a kale salad, this is it.

14. Miscellaneous other weird stuff

Puffy hands? Trouble sleeping? Low pain threshold? Weird poos? All could be down to the flight of the red unicorn, my friend. PMS affects every woman in a slightly different, unique way, so if you notice strange things happening in your body around the same time every month, chances are they’re part of your own personal pick ’n’ mix of period symptoms.

And feeling absolutely nothing weird at all? That’s fine and normal too! You lucky duck.

Not started your period yet?  You’re probably nervous (we all were) but don’t panic, find out more about What your first period will be like

@laurenbravo

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Image: Hailey Hamilton

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