I think we can all agree that school isn’t always the best thing in the world. But it does have its positives; seeing your mates every day, 3.30pm finishes, supply teachers who ask you ‘what do you normally do’… But as far as I’m concerned the best thing of all about school is the weird rumours.
The wild stories, the absolutely out-of-this-world-never-happened fables, the tallest of tall tales, the yarns that have been woven over years and years, passed on from year 11s to year 7s time and time again with absolutely zero regard for accuracy. There’s nowhere like school when it comes to weird and wonderful stories; it’s a breeding ground for them.
So, to celebrate the timeless tradition of weird rumours and school stories, I cast my net wide to find the best and weirdest of them all. From teacher tales to ghost stories, let’s jump right in.
Someone needs a few more biology lessons…
“When we started sex ed, there were loads of rumours flying around because it was all new to us and we were basically just making stuff up all over the place. But the best one was that some mysterious sixth former who’d had two different boyfriends had managed to get pregnant… with BOTH of their babies.” – Julia
Real or robot?
We’ve all thought, at one time or another, that our teachers aren’t all human, right?
“Everyone said that my maths teacher had a robotic arm. He always wore a heavy jacket no matter the weather, so we decided that the only logical reason was that he was part robot.” – Leigh
As if exams weren’t bad enough.
“Every exam season, the rumours about the haunted hall would start again. Apparently, one kid had got so stressed about GCSEs that they’d died right there in the middle of an exam. To get revenge, he’d haunt the halls every summer. Some people even got specific about the seat he was in. We were seated in alphabetic order, so one poor person had no choice but to sit there.” – Alice
There were wayyyyy too many stories of teachers dating to list. Let’s just say that at least two teachers are dating at every school at all times. Especially P.E. teachers, apparently.
New in town
Being the new kid is never easy but it’s even worse if your designated friend is… less than lovely.
“I moved from London to Yorkshire when I was 9 and instantly became the ‘posh southerner’. The girl who was put in charge of looking after me decided she didn’t like that and told everyone I had diarrhoea so they wouldn’t talk to me. My mum had to come in to sort the whole thing out! The best thing is that Andrea, who started the rumour, is my oldest and best friend and swears blind she doesn’t remember.” – Vicky
Hair today, gone tomorrow
The rules are there for a reason.
“Our resistant materials teacher was always super, super on it about people tying their hair back in the workshop. And when people didn’t, he used to sit them down and tell them about the girl who didn’t listen, got her hair caught in the belt sander and ended up with a bald patch.” – Lily
Vegans and vegetarians, look away now.
“In year 8 biology, everyone did a dissection class. Sometimes it was a heart, or an eyeball. But everyone was always terrified it would be frogs because apparently one time, a girl had started to cut into a frog’s stomach when it jumped up from the tray and hopped away.” – Amy
The teacher who never came back
You think your teacher has it bad? Think again.
“One day, our French teacher was randomly replaced with a new one and we had no idea why. She always seemed pretty nice, maybe a bit strict every now and then. A few weeks later, the rumour started that one class had been so bad that she silently packed up her things, walked out and never came back.” – Hanna
Love story or just plain gross? This one cropped up from a few different schools. So either we’re having a runaway epidemic, or, y’know, it’s not quite 100% true.
“I heard that a female teacher started dating a sixth former (who was 18, so it was kind of OK? I don’t know). Anyway, once he’d sat his A Levels, they ran away together, got married and they’ve now been together for 20 years.” – Lottie
What sorts of vehicles do you expect to see outside the school gates of an afternoon? Old bangers owned by the lucky sixth formers who learned to drive first, posh and fancy four by fours? How about a red van with a killer clown in it? Hang on… what?
“A rumour went round that there was a killer clown hanging around outside school. Apparently he’d drive up and down in a red van, planning to get unsuspecting pupils on their way home.” – Amanda